Tips For Making Long Distance Relationships Work

You ask most people and they’ll tell you, “Long distance relationships never work!” There’s no
questioning that the odds are against you in doing long distance. Still, when you’ve met someone who
you really care about, maybe even love, it’s hard to just throw in the towel because “the odds are
against you”.

I believe that it is possible to make a long distance relationship work. I’m not saying it’s going to
easy. It’s going to be hard. But, what relationship isn’t hard, right? If you find someone you love, isn’t
it worth a try? I think so, too. Here are four dating tips that will help you have the very best chance at making a long distance relationship work.

1. Do Take Advantage of Video Chatting
It’s very important that you are regularly spending time communicating with each other. However,
talking on the phone all the time can start to get old. A great tool for the long distance couple is video
chatting. There’s just something very important about being able to look into one another’s eyes or see
the smile on each other’s faces that cannot be replaced. Skype, Facetime and Google+ all offer video
chat completely free! Anybody attempting long distance absolutely must take advantage of this!

2. Do Not Rely on Text Based Communication
This, again, revolves around communication which is so key to healthy relationships. There is going to
be the temptation to rely on text based communications in your long distance relationship. This is a
huge mistake. In fact, this is true even for close-proximity relationships. Instant messaging and texting
are notorious for misunderstandings and miscommunication. Couples who try to use these mediums for
meaningful conversations are just asking for trouble. Texting and instant messaging are better used for
touching base and maybe a little playful flirting. Keep the important stuff for your phone calls, or even
better, your video chats.

3. Do Visits as Frequently as Realistically Possible
The reality is, no matter how good you are at keeping up with each other through your video chats,
phone calls and other means, nothing can replace actually seeing each other. You need to be able to
spend some time together somehow, however few and far between those times might be. It’s hard
to say how frequently you need to plan visits because every circumstance is different. Let’s just say,
you need to visit one another as frequently as you possibly can. Don’t be unrealistic. Don’t shirk your
responsibilities just to try and be together all the time. Don’t use your whole life’s savings to see each
other every week. But, as much as is realistically possible, you need to spend some actual time together
– side by side, face to face.


4. Do Have an Understanding of When Long Distance Will End
I am an idealist, and I do believe that love and the right person are worth trying long distance for.
However, the reality is that a relationship that is long distance indefinitely is most likely doomed. There

needs to be a general timetable in any long distance relationship. Is he going to move back after he
graduates? Is she going to relocate in 2 years? Sometimes life happens, and circumstances change,
but there still needs to be some level expectation. This is only fair to the both of you. Some people are
willing to wait 4 years. Others, are not. The point though is that with a general understanding of how
long the relationship will be long distance, it gives both parties an opportunity to decide with eyes wide
open, whether they are willing to try, or not.

First Date Rules for Women

Welcome to another set of rules for women to follow that involves dating! Of course this set is just a
little different. Why? Because it is written from a man's perspective. It seems like all women want dating advice, but nobody thinks to get their dating advice for women from men.

It is always interesting for me to read articles written for women by women that bridge topics towards
men. "If you want to attract a man then you should......", "Do this to drive him crazy!", and "What men
really want!" are some of my favorite topic examples. I also love the advice like making him wait, leaving
him wondering, and generally act like he isn't worth your time. But oddly nobody asked us for our
opinions on the matter.

So here we are! Now to be clear these are my own thoughts combined with observations from guy
friends as well as stories from my girl friends about their own dating experiences. From all of that I
managed to get a decent list of things you should and shouldn't do on a first date.

First Date Rules

1. Be confident - This is number one with a bullet. Not just because confidence is sexy (it is) but
because docile is annoying and boring. Usually we are trying to impress you and trying to have fun.
If you go into a meek turtle shell instead of be cool and confident we have no idea if we are doing
things right or wrong because it is hard to read a turtle.

2. Be yourself - It is incredibly annoying to go on a first date with a woman who truly isn't being
herself. If you love a good burger then don't order a small garden salad. If you don't like something
then say it. In the end, if something will develop into a relationship, you are going to be yourself
anyway. So don't waste time in the beginning being a lesser version because you are trying to hide
things you think might be unflattering. Who knows, Mr. Right could love those things about you.

3. Talk - Hopefully you are on a first date that allows you a chance to get to know each other. Then
just talk. Ask us questions and answer ours. We need to get to know you so please don't be afraid
to share your stories just like you want us to. Communication is a huge key in relationships and this
first interview is a chance to see how well you communicate together (after you both get past the
nerves).

4. Don't talk about an Ex - If you are divorced then typically the topic comes up in the first date
especially if the other person is divorced. This is perfectly acceptable because people want to know
if the other person has recovered from the ordeal and where their head is at. But other than that all
conversations about people in the past should be rather superficial. Neither of us really wants to get
into a big complaint-fest on the first date. We should be learning about each other instead.

5. Don't be desperate - Or morose, or needy, or a glass-half empty kind of girl. Guys do not like women
with issues. We do not see you as a project to fix up and take care of.

6. Easy on the alcohol - This really goes for both people but typically a guy won't try to out drink a
woman on a date. Stick with a beer or a glass of wine if you need to relax and loosen up your filter.
But stop there because it stinks when we think you like us more than you do but it is really the
alcohol talking. Also it prevents the need for getting a ride.

7. Don't let him drive you - Yes I am a guy but even I know that there are plenty of creeps out there.
It is safer on a first date to have your own car or transportation. Plus if you need to leave for an
emergency (or while he is in the bathroom) it is very easy.

8. Go Dutch - Some articles say the man should pay, but in this day and age I think not. It sets a
precedent where you might feel obligated to us for buying you dinner. Also it sends a different
message in my opinion that you expect us to buy because it is a privilege of taking you out. On one
online dating site I skipped past a woman who matched up almost perfectly with me because she
expected the man to pay for the first 3 dates.

9. Give signs - If you want a good night kiss then let us know. Every once in awhile it would be really
great to get a clear sign. If you want to be kissed simply get some body contact (hand on our arm for
example) and lean in a little closer during the good-night conversation. The same goes for us to call.
Just say, "We should go out again." There is nothing wrong with confidence and taking action if you
feel attraction. It cuts down on the confusion and doesn't look desperate (unless you ask us like 10
times via text before we get home).

10. Don't sleep with us - Never hook up on the first date. Seriously, I am a guy and I know this! It sets a
weird tone for any sort of relationship.

From all of this research the most obvious thing is that everything has changed from the way dating
used to be. The standard courtship rules don't apply anymore nor does playing hard to get. The first
date is an interview, but it should be a casual interview. Relax and have fun. Don't put too much
pressure on yourself because you are just meeting someone to get to know them. If it isn't meant to be
then there are always other first dates.